I wonder when the day will come when I’m not nervous about getting on my horse. This is a recent development in my riding journey. I used to get on all kinds of horses and never felt nervous unless the horse gave me a reason to be. But now, somehow, getting back into it with an extremely spooky, spicy mare, I have nerves before getting on.

So far, every spook I’ve sat, every fussy moment I’ve managed, every bolt or jig I’ve gotten under control, but there’s this subconscious “what if”ing that my body does as it puts itself through worst case scenarios. Once I’m on, my mind and body “get down to business” and the nerves go away, but pre-ride jitters grip my insides regularly.

Now, I know the solution to this is just to do more riding. The more I ride and am successful doing so, the more climbing up onto that mounting block will seem like no big deal. Until now, the most I’ve gotten to ride in a week is two days. The weather has been bad – oh, and my horse decided to become an eventer last weekend and jumped a 5′ fence, so she was pretty sore and stiff for several days thereafter.

I know once we get into regular work the spooking will lessen, my anxiety will reduce, and we’ll be focused on more productive things. I’m just tired of feeling like this. *sigh*