Supposedly former US President, Theodore Roosevelt, once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And back then, they didn’t have social media! That saying is one of my favorite things to repeat to myself. These days, it’s hard not to look around at what other people are doing, at how their horses are progressing, and also see more “finished” horses doing amazing collected moves and people going to shows and cleaning up the ribbons. It can seem like you’ll never, ever even get close to doing any of that. But doing things the right way, achieving balance and working holistically to have a “happy athlete” to work with, takes a LONG time.

We’re halfway through our first year together. Kiss’s posture has improved tremendously. When she first arrived, she leaned very far forward into her shoulders (common among most horses, but especially when they are trained to drive). Now, she naturally shifts her weight further back and it’s much easier to ask her to do so and to back up. Shifting her weight from the front to the back is stage one of achieving better balance for riding and for dressage.

She also has become so much more conscientious on the ground. She rarely comes rushing into my lap when she sees something scary. She can have a freak out, but she respects my space. She is so smart and I don’t have to drill the same message over and over to make a point.

A lot of horse behavior is linked to their bodies, as I’ve mentioned before. It’s no doubt that once she is much more in balance, her anxiety will lessen. Changing the body takes a lot of time. And it doesn’t help when you only have an outdoor arena to work in that curbs your activity when the weather is off. The weather has just started to get more consistent. Hopefully our progress will be more overt in the coming months, but the good news is that we’ve definitely laid the foundations for a great partnership over the winter.

This weekend, we had a groundwork lesson with Deanna. Kiss was actually being lovely for the most part: not too spooky, willing, and calm without going to sleep. She is starting to get to the point with the in-hand work where I don’t need to be so strong with my aids. She now responds to gentle pressure and body language, so she doesn’t need me “nagging” or pushing her. She is definitely leveling up!

I don’t know if it was just me, but she was looking a bit more filled in. Some changes are hard to see until you compare photos.

However, most changes are invisible to the naked eye. I’m putting a lot of deposits into our relationship bank and Kiss trusts me more and more every day. That’s definitely something that’s hard to capture in an Instagram post or YouTube video. It’s something you just have to feel to believe.