I think it’s part of the human condition to make horrible decisions in traumatic times. For me, going through a divorce, I decided to rescue a dog. Oh, but not only rescue a dog, I rescued a dog who wasn’t housebroken, had heartworms, and wasn’t neutered. Oh, AND, come to find out, he has some form of separation anxiety. Because, apparently, I enjoy torturing myself.

Now, Jake is very sweet and, despite being some kind of hound, he doesn’t bark (so far – two weeks in). I just can’t leave the house or sometimes even leave the room without him getting somewhat upset. To his credit, he does settle down, but there is some anxiety about being left alone in a confined space that I have to work on with him. Some days are better than others, but unless I have someone to watch him, I can’t go to the store, I can’t go out for a run or a long walk, I can’t go out to see friends, and I can’t ride.

Not riding is making me depressed on top of what I was already feeling. It’s amazing how when you’re really low, riding and being around horses can really bring you up. I was fortunate enough to be able to have a lesson on Saturday and, thankfully, Kiss was doing well, despite a bit more time off than usual.

We’re getting to the point where we can transition into the trot without her throwing her head way up into the air and falling into her inside shoulder. She’s balancing much better around each curve of the circle and carrying herself more and more. We’re practicing halting and backing up without hollowing her back.

To the average person who is used to seeing a dressage horse with a prance-y stride and an arched or “long and low” head and neck, they might think, “Yeesh, you’ve been working with this horse for nine months and this is all you have to show for it?” But precision takes time, learning the “right” way takes time. You can’t rush the development of the conditioning that it takes to be a true athlete.

We live in a world of instant fixes, instant gratification, faster and faster timelines. But animals don’t have the same sense of urgency we do. They just don’t.

I hope that things will settle with Jake and that I’ll get to be on a more regular training schedule with Kiss soon enough, but sometimes life is tough and you have to deal with the hand you’re dealt. Hopefully it will work out in the end. Someone wise once said, “if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Amen.