What I’ve learned about being a human for 46 years is that opinions are everywhere and fly all over the board. I’m a sensitive and curious soul who often goes exploring around the internet, and who just as often regrets doing so. a lot of the time. However, I also think it’s important to continuously question our beliefs and challenge ourselves to observe our world view from various perspectives.

I have a lot of animal loving friends, who all have various opinions on the animal world. And even among people who largely agree, there can be differences. Sometimes they’re easier to navigate, and sometimes they’re really morally challenging.

A lot of well-meaning people draw different lines in the sand as far as what constitutes cruelty. For me, anything that is causing an animal physical pain or prolonged discomfort, or emotional distress for prolonged periods, I think, is cruel. There’s also the matter of understanding an animal enough to know the signs of pain or distress, right? It gets pretty complicated pretty quickly.

A lot of people might think I am cruel because I choose to ride my horse. Some might think because I use a bit or a saddle that I’m cruel. As an animal lover and someone who wants to do right by my animals, I examine these beliefs.

The side I’ve landed on is to listen to my horse. As it stands, I’m not riding a lot, I’m under the weight limit that my horse can reasonably carry with tack, I have properly fitted tack that does not compress my horse’s spine, and I work on strengthening and suppling the muscles that my horse needs to be able to carry me. Plus, as I am riding, I’m using gentle aids and reinforcing concepts learned on the ground, so that I don’t need to do much to achieve a result.

We work within my horse’s comfort zone, weave a little outside of it, and then return right back to the comfort zone. We stretch toward a goal, but don’t need to push or steamroll towards it. The reward is the journey.

The thing is, though, riding CAN be cruel and most riding is. Riders avoid getting properly fitted tack, or they are part of a one-size-fits-all training program where every horse is expected to move and be treated the same way. Yes, that horse looks fancy in a photo, but did you see the stress in his eye?

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. On the one hand, I understand how someone who doesn’t really know horses, can put all riders under the same blanket cruelty label. I get it. However, I think it’s incredibly nuanced for those of us who are sensitive and have learned enough about equine behavior and biomechanics to realize that most riding IS cruel.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be, but real kindness with animals requires a kind of patience that is hard to come by these days. With so much instant gratification everywhere, the incremental inching along that often comes with avoiding cruelty in the horse world is torture for many humans. However, when you truly get a willing equine partner who trusts you, it can be worth all of the time in the world.