You know, you can ignore nits and picks about your horse for a long time, until you can’t. Lately, it seems like everyone is against her. Or, I guess, against me, as the owner. I chose a horse with her shape, so that’s Strike One on me, I guess. And she has Equine Metabolic Syndrome, so that’s Strike Two, right? And after putting her on a grazing muzzle all spring and summer, she now has muscle wasting in her back, so she looks even more U-shaped, so Strike Three.

I know people are genuinely trying to help me: the vet, trainers, etc. But I’m so incredibly frustrated right now, I could cry. We do everything a person is supposed to do for the topline: transitions, ground poles, laterals, etc. I even started doing some jumping on the longe with her, just to get her to use her body. She was doing pretty well.

But I’ve heard it all, my horse is lazy, obese, swaybacked, and an anxious mess. And I feel like the asshole. What else can I do? I’m honestly at a loss. We’ve worked on relaxation, on forward movement, on correct laterals. I have trained my eye. I have trained myself to pay attention to all of this nuance and detail. I have worked so hard. And it never feels like enough.

Am I just not good enough of an owner or trainer for her? I don’t know. Last stop: I’m trying to supplement with some protein in hopes that she will regain some topline muscle. This is so frustrating.