If there’s one thing I appreciate about Americans, it’s this idea that if you keep trying, you will become really successful at something. There’s this beautiful, magical montage glow-up narrative built into so many of our stories, that many of us grew up watching. And it has merit. I do think that if we aren’t…
Tag: my journey
Fall in Summer
As horse people, we never want it to happen. We hope and pray that it won’t happen. But, inevitably, even in the best of circumstances, it happens. I’m talking about falling off. Every experienced horse person will tell you that falling off is part of riding. And it’s usually when you’re starting to feel really…
New Year, New Barn, New Post!
Hello! I know, it has been a significant minute here since I last posted. I’m still navigating my depression and the oppressive challenges posed by Jake’s separation anxiety, but I’m now working with a veterinary behaviorist, who assures me that, once we have the meds right, I’ll be able to leave my house at least…
Accountability and Goals
Last night, my therapist said to me, “You’re surviving, but you’re not really living.” That struck me in a most impactful way. I’m 42 years old, at the half year mark. I’m going through a difficult separation and divorce process, I’m financially torpedoed (and might also have to pay more spousal support), I have a…
Two Steps Forward, But Then…
They say time flies when you’re having fun, but time streaks at light speed when you’re having stress. I was making pretty good progress with my new rescue dog, Jake’s anxiety at being left by himself. By the first week of September, I was able to leave him for up to an hour by himself…
The ‘Spooky,’ or Under-Confident Horse
At the age of 42, I’ve become somewhat of a connoisseur of spooky horses. I guess because I’m fairly even-keel on the exterior, I’ve often been paired with more nervous souls. When I was younger, I took all manner of spooking in stride. My first horse, Ahab, would jump to the side or full-on bolt…
Connect, Flicker, Hope
I guess I’m the type of person who can burn out easily, in that, I don’t like to hammer and hammer on a project or a challenge and never see any progress. I like to see the fruits of my labor at some point. I’d say I’m above average when it comes to patience, but…
Every Dang Time
I wonder when the day will come when I’m not nervous about getting on my horse. This is a recent development in my riding journey. I used to get on all kinds of horses and never felt nervous unless the horse gave me a reason to be. But now, somehow, getting back into it with…
I’m Allowed to Feel Things About My Rider Body
Warning: This is not a body positive post. It also mentions specific weight, so if that is triggering, please skip this one. Yesterday, I turned 42. We all had a great day at the barn, holding yet another successful “wine and ride” in which we typically have a little wine, ride a working equitation-style obstacle…
The Story of How I Bought My Horse
A year ago, I was pretty miserable. Both my personal life and professional life weren’t going as I’d hoped they’d go and every day battered whatever was left of my flattened spirit. The one bright spot of my week was when I’d get to go spill my guts to my therapist and examine what was…
Equicurious 